The Session in which Dan Goes AI
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title: Smokin' Sheila's BBQ Chuck Wagon, Session 3
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## Current Objectives
1. Get ~~the meat chunk~~ Azhia to the Sparkling Fens
## Events
We battle the First Blade of Gorum! In the first round, he summoned a _blade
barrier_, and we killed one of his dogs! Combat continues!
- Everyone but Green Guts is outside the _blade barrier_, and they all do
the fighting. Green Guts decides to keep watch over the Azhia.
- Balognog and First Blade go HAM on each other, but the First Blade
prevails. Balognog goes down.
- The First Blade takes down Argon's dog. What a bastard!
- Green Guts finally decides to venture outside, and generally has a bad
time.
- After a bit more punishment, the First Blade shatters into a swarm of
jagged metal.
- Sadly, Argon falls to the swarm. His soul winks out of existence.
- Finally, after seemingly ineffectual rounds, we manage to take out The
First Blade.
After the combat, Gorum appears to us, and congratulates us on our victory. He
grants us a boon, despite Sheila G's protestations:
- Green Guts, Balognog, and Helga each have their armor enhancement bonus
increased by 1
- Sheila G gets a new ability: Any time that SG fells an opponent of equal
or greater HP than her, she has the option to scream, loudly, as a free
action, granting a sacred bonus to her strength equal to that opponents'
modifier to their constitution. Lasts for (level + CON modifier) rounds.
We continue. Moving on, we arrive in a mountain fens, and the environment grows
darker. Will-o-wisps dance around, with one particularly large one guiding us to
Ashava. She gives Sheila G a glowing cat-tail, to use as a planar-fork to the
Sparkling Fens, and a malleable symbol. She sends Green Guts back to Lon's
Thicket.
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Party Swap!! Back in Rime, after a night of revelry and a morning hangover
breakfast, Cayden Calien, Gartug, Randy, Chuck, and Mumm-rah all go shopping for
more maps. While we depart, Randy tells Cayden Calien of his true nature. This
sets off a bunch of events which eventually leads to Cayden Calien and Gartug
being, essentially, placed under house-arrest in the Temple of Torag. A few
other groups are also detained, and basically we're at a point of waiting for
Sheila G to return.
Eventually, CC decides he
- First, he remembers going to the Sapphire Lounge. He remember being with
someone who bragged about taking the trial, who CC rebuked. The other
accused CC of being a coward, and walked off. CC remembers leaving him,
finding some ladies at a club, and spending the evening with them.
- He remembers some scrawny guy watching at the club, who, when asked about,
nobody seemed willing to remember of identify.
- Eventually, somehow, he finds himself in a booth with the scrawny fellow.
This stranger tells Cayden Calien he has a way to cheat the Star Sapphire
challenge, and that CC believed this, and that it was of great cost, but
that CC refused this offer, and he left.
- Norgruber, that wiry fuckin' cunt.
AND MORE!
Eventually, SG returns, and catches up on what's happened, and meets up with the
group. We part there for the evening.
## Player Characters
- Sheila G, a human cleric of Cayden Caylien (Thans)
- Green Guts, a goblin rogue; and Gartug Ironfist, a dwarven brawler (Bill)
- Helga, an elf witch; and Mumm-rah, a dwarven cleric (Mike)
- Balognog, a lizardfolk barbarian; and Randy Van Peoples, a human cleric (Dan)
- Argon, an elf ranger; and Chuck, a dwarven fighter (James) [RIP]
## Locations
- Elysium
- Sparkling Fens
- Rime
## NPCs and Notable Characters
- Skeet, a previous skeleton "best friend" of Sheila G's
- The meat hunk of Azhia
- Osric, a giant flying raven
- The First Blade of Gorum, and Gorum
- Cayden Caylien

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title: The Greatest Bender in History
---
## Current Objectives
1. (Return to Elysium) Find Thunder, Cayden Caylien's dog
1. (Green Beltway) Find a space ship, ideally robbing it from the elves
## Events
The non-Cayden Caylien band's back together! Sheila G is trying to figure out
some shit. Eventually, the party agrees to pursue two objectives: return to
Elysium to find Cayden Caylien's dog, Thunder; and make for the Green Belt,
through ancient dwarven tunnels, in search of a space ship. To achieve this, the
party splits as follows:
Going to Elysium (or rendevousing there):
- Sheila G, a human cleric of Cayden Calien (Thans)
- Nataliah Kas Zhukoff, a tiefling alchemist (Bill)
- Chuck, a dwarven fighter (James)
- Helga, an elf witch (Mike)
- Balognog, a lizardfolk barbarian (Dan)
Going with Cayden Caylien to the Green Belt:
- Cayden Caylien, former deity, current drunk
- Larg Marg, a dwarven ranger, and Smarf, a dracoweasel (Thans)
- Gartug Ironfist, a dwarven brawler
- Randy Van Peoples, a human cleric (Dan)
- Mumm-rah, a dwarven cleric (Mike)
The groups assemble, and prepare for their next steps.
## Locations
- Rime
## Player Characters
- Sheila G, a human cleric of Cayden Caylien (Thans)
- Gartug Ironfist, a dwarven brawler (Bill)
- Mumm-rah, a dwarven cleric (Mike)
- Randy Van Peoples, a human cleric (Dan)
- Chuck, a dwarven fighter (James) [RIP]
## NPCs and Notable Characters
- Cayden Caylien
---
Party shift! We're back in the Far Territories, preparing for our assault on
Fort Rather!
## Current Objectives
1. Retake Fort Rather
## Events
The group breaks down camp outside Ganth, and marches towards the Fort. In
preparation of further objectives, we discuss who should take command of the
fort. We settle on Syrup, with an undetermined contingincy.
The army leaves camp, and meets with forces from Ganth, led by Gunstav.
After 2 days of travel, the column comes to a stop at three hanging cages,
inside which are several tieflings with tattered Altasian military dress. The
cages are lowered, and the tieflings are interrogated. We learn of the failed
assassination attempt, we learn of the Pool of Aljazeer, and we learn of the
current status of the Fort. The column continues on, providing aid to the others
chained, but not freeing them due to time-constraints. Sir Tern is not happy
with this decision.
After a few more days, we arrive at Fort Rather. An initial group approaches,
but is immediately rebuked, rather rudely, by the gate guard. The army begins
digging-in, starting the siege. We meet in the evening to discuss our next
course of action.
- We can _teleport_ in to the fort, for a surprise attack. Good targets are
the gate, and the officers.
- We will strike during the day, since we're dealing with tieflings and
other demons who can see in the dark
We rest for the evening. Two to three hours before dawn, there is a dust cloud
from the east - riders are approaching. The party assembles with the cavalry to
meet them. The approaching force is determined to be Captain Ilbardesh, with men
and orcs from the Accords. The two forces stop, and parties converge for
diplomacy. After parlay, the loyalist Third Army cavalry and Accords troops join
our troops.
Syrup gets his men ready, and the party gets ready. Next session we assault!
## Locations
- The Far Territories
- Ganth
- The road to Fort Rather
- Fort Rather
## Player Characters
- Sir Beet, a human paladin of Iomedae (Thans)
- Sir Tern Ipswitch, a human paladin of Ragathiel (Bill)
- Oogie Houndstooth, a human cleric of Kelinahat (Mike)
- Willy "Red Shaft" Stabber, a tengu swashbuckler (Dan)
- Stackor, a dwarven wizard (James)
## NPCs and Notable Characters
- Pale Root, a byakhee summoned unintentionally by Sir Tern under his will.
- Gustav Therrin, son of the Count of Ganth
- Colonel Syrup
- Captain Crunch
- Baron Blunt
- Captain Vashlav Ilbardesh