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+     layout: default
+     tabtitle: A Good Friend's Father
+     title: A Good Friend's Father
+     tags: philosophy, personal
+---
+
+<article>
+     <h1>A Good Friend's Father</h1>
+     <p> A good friend's father died. He was quite a strong figure in my
+     childhood. He was compassionate, endearing, strong, and happy. He is
+     succeeded by two of my best childhood friends, and his second wife. I will
+     always remember him as smiling, or laughing, or even sometimes frustrated
+     with his children.</p>
+
+     <p> When I learned of his passing, I immediately thought of my position in
+     life. My father is roughly the same age, and my mother slightly younger.
+     Was this death too early? Is there such a thing? If I stick to my
+     philosophical beliefs, then death is fated, regardless of where or when;
+     never early, never late. When I told a friend of the passing, his remarks
+     were expectedly typical: "That's fucked up. He died so early. He died so
+     young." The trick with beliefs is they are always tested. I found myself
+     caught up in grief and worry. Surprised at the passing, worried with the
+     thought of my parents dying. I even grew anxious of the funeral and calling
+     hours. Suddenly this anxiety was like a weed, finding it's way into the
+     cracks in my beliefs and understanding, unsettling and disrupting my peace
+     of mind. Instead of mourning the loss, I tangled myself into an emotional
+     knot, and selfishly so.</p>
+
+     <p> I sat, a few days after the news, watching the rain. I considered how
+     the rain falls where it is due, regardless of what it falls on. The
+     rain cares not, it simply is. I considered the millions of drops falling on
+     the millions of people all around the globe. Their situations in life as
+     unique as each drop; in structure similar, yet in action ever slightly
+     divergent. In life, I cannot decide where or when I exist, I can only
+     decide how to perceive my existance. Epictetus wrote, "man is disturbed not
+     by things, but by the views he takes of them." My perceptions were skewed,
+     my understanding flawed, and thus I was disturbed.</p>
+
+     <p> One of my favorite analogies is Bruce Lee's metaphor about water. It is
+     a reminder to be fluid and formless, adaptable and potent; "If nothing
+     within you stays rigid, outward things will disclose themselves." There's
+     no way for me to know what will be asked of me, as my life moves forward.
+     I must be shapeless, so when obstacles appear I flow around or through
+     them, without hesitation. I cannot affect when or how these obstacles
+     appear, only how I perceive them. I had forgotten this. </p>
+
+     <p> A good friend's father died, and he reminded me how to live.</p>
+
+     <br /><h4>[Bill Niblock][2015-07-09][Philosophy]</h4>
+
+</article>
+
+<!-- ================================= -->
+<!-- ================================= -->
+
+<!-- Notes
+
+Rest in peace, Chaz. You were a good man, a good father, and a friend.
+
+-->
+
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