## Site Home

The (mis-) adventures of the 7th Ancillary of the Altasian Army

#### Events

- The Twistfuck spends a bunch of money to buy two scrolls of Sending, and reaches out to Kaldur Black to try and get information regarding the Sacco story. Kaldur tells him to come fight Calcifer.
- The Twistfuck next gathers the materials to summon Sir Brownin. It’ll happen over-night.
- The Twistfuck next visits Auntie Pew, to ask for her help getting in contact with someone from the Twilight Court Winter Court Twilight Court. She advises asking in a dark place for an assassin or spy.
  - The group wanders into the slums, and Twistfuck begins asking around “diplomatically” for a spy.
- The group eventually visits Harvey, asks an inane question, and leaves. When returning to the hotel, they find Hugh Lamb at the bar, and decide to stop and speak with him.
  - He mentions there will be a cult meeting for Nyarlothotep in 7 days.
  - There will be several sojourners there, specifically a woman with avian-themed tattoos on her back, and he wants her captured.
  - Suspects there may be multiple cults of Nyarlothotep, dedicated to different aspects of him, operating within the city.
- Nataliah retires to the room, to make a potion. There, she finds Smith. He eventually wanders down to the bar.
- At the bar, Smith sits with Sheila G and the rest of the party. Smith tells Twistfuck that he must renounce Magda, or be killed.
- After some further discussion, it is decided that the group needs to visit Sheila G’s family. Reggae Tony leaves and finds the remains of the fairy Smith killed earlier. Turns out it was Sir Brownin.
  - We move to the temple. There’s a full retinue of guards, with torches and sunrods arrayed outside. Evidently this is an odd night, and they are on alert.
  - We enter into the temple, and visit with Sheila G’s niece, Celia.
    - Apparently, a hag/witch/oracle came and tried to steal Sacco away.
- Twistfuck leaves to visit Auntie Pew. Nataliah stays with Sheila G’s family. The rest of the party teleports to Auntie Pew’s hut.
  - The party arrives in Auntie Pew’s hut. She is awake, working over a boiling cauldron.
  - Several members of the party attempt to discern if she is lying while questioning her; she resists.
  - Smith unloops his hammer. Sheila G demands answers for why Magda is so interested in her family. Auntie Pew responds it is not her place to tell what Twistfuck’s place is, or what Magda’s intentions are. Auntie Pew insists the party leaves. Party refuses.
  - Auntie Pew moves to her table, grabs some bones, begins shaking them and muttering. Smith looks warily at Sheila G. Reggae Tony casts Shield on himself.
  - She looks down, surprised, and learns that “the answers are in this room.” The party all suspects she’s turning hostile towards Smith. Initiative!
    - Sheila G tries to talk Auntie Pew down! Smith threatens action! Auntie Pew starts casting a spell! Smith smacks her! Cinders and ash begin swirling everywhere, decreasing visibility. Chuck flanks with Smith and smacks Auntie Pew’s skull into a pancake.
  - Combat over! Dan smolders! Once the ash clears, the party searches the hut.
    - Potion making stuff, augury stuff, carved bones, decks of cards, voodoo dolls. A notebook, written on velum, bound in bark, hidden near the hearth.
      - The notebook talks about stuff, including “the stolen plains child that belongs to the hero but not of her blood.”
  - Twistfuck arrives! Hostilities begin again! Initialive for PVP!!
    - Sheila G reads off the last page of the journal, to try and calm down Twistfuck:

            And on the second night of winter's neep, #This is tonight, in-game
            The child of the plains,
            Taken to halls of stone by the hero not of his blood,
            must bleed for her fate,
            and the return of the King of Seasons

      1. Reggae Tony casts Hold Person on Twistfuck! Twistfuck resists! Smith smacks Twistfuck! Chuck delays! Twistfuck cuts Smith! Sheila G channels and heals everyone a bit.
      2. Tony tries a Mind Wipe on Twistfuck, but is resisted! Smith smacks Twistfuck non-lethally! Chuck continues to delay! Twistfuck slices in lethally! Sheila G heals Smith!
      3. Tony tries a Mind Wipe again, and Twistfuck resists again! Smith smacks Twistfuck non-lethally extra spicy! Chuck keeps doing nothing! Twistfuck continues his lethal assault! Sheila G readies some more healing.
      4. Tony gives Twistfuck a bad-touch but it has no effect! Smith wiffs on Twistfuck! Chuck twiddles thumbs! Twistfuck smacks Smith non-lethally! Sheila G calls for a cease-fire.
      5. Tony’s effect wracks Twistfuck with pain, knocking him unconscious.
  - Combat over!
- The party sends Smith with Twistfuck and Auntie Pew’s corpse to the Temple of Torag.
  - On his way, Smith is drop-kicked off the bridge into the river by an unknown assaillant wearing the guard uniform of Sheila G’s temple! Twistfuck dies. Smith disappears. Pew’s corpse status unknown.
- Meanwhile, at the Temple of Cayden Cailen…
  - Relatively tense but quiet time. Nataliah hears a noise, and prepares for invaders, but nothing happens.
  - Party sans Smith and Twistfuck shows up. Finds all external guards gone. Inside, there’s a bubble of magical darkness in front of the curtain to the back-room (where Nataliah, Celia, and Sacco are). Within the bubble, only a dead guard, and a dagger from which the darkness emenates.
  - A thorough search reveals no other threats in the temple, but there was a small holy symbol of Magda tied beneath the holy symbol of Cayden Calien.
  - Gather the group, we head towards the temple, and are interrupted by a guard patrol headed by the priest of Pharasma from the task force.She tells of of the events on the bridge.
- Back at the bridge, Nataliah changes into a merfolk and investigates the area, looking for Smith. Instead, she finds the portal from which Twistfuck re-emerged as Sir Oliver Withatwist from the First World!
  - Sir Oliver informs us he was reincarnated to perform a favor for Count Ranalc: speak with Harvey, and get Ranalc in contact with the Forgotten Prince.
  - Sir Oliver is also a bit miffed that the party essentially killed him.

#### Locations

- Rhyme

#### NPCs and Notable Characters

- Hugo Lamb, but a younger-looking version of him.
- Smith
- Auntie Pew, a representative of Magda working with Twistfuck
- The Twistfuck has been fucked for good, and reincarnated as Sir Oliver Withatwist

#### Other Notes

- The phrase “interrokill” happened.
- The darkness-dagger was found just outside the curtain to the room, with the blade pointing towards the room. The bubble was enough to cover the guard, but not necessarily provide cover upon entering. Was the objective to only kill the guard? Darkness is common for the Twilight Court, was this their intervention? Was it to sow distrust of Magda, or was it to protect Sheila G’s family from Magda? Could Magda’s agents have infiltrated the temple guards? Possibly it was their intention while the party was gone to steal away or otherwise harm Sacco or Ceila? The guard that drop-kicked Smith off the bridge was dressed as a Cayden Cailen temple guard. Are they an agent of Magda? A member of the Twilight Court? I believe their intention may have been to recover Auntie Pew’s body, not to kill Smith or Twistfuck. That would further incline me to believe they align with Magda, but perhaps Ranalc and his court could make use of Pew’s body?

[For Bill (and Paul)] Figure out how Lesser Simulacrum works, for future reference.

- Simulacrum Spell
- Simulacrum Spell, 3.5
- Alchemist Extracts
- Extract Action FAQ

This probably should be extrapolated to be: figure out how Extracts work. It is already stated that preparing Extracts takes one minute per. It also says that Extracts are “cast” by drinking them, and that it takes a standard action to use an Extract. However, Lesser Simulacrum has a casting time of 1 hour, requires an ice sculpture of the creature to be created, and powdered ruby worth 50gp per HD of the Simulacrum. The powdered ruby is easy: any costly material components are expended during the use of the Extract. What remains are the ice sculpture and the casting time. I believe the casting time issue is resolved by the aforementioned rules: it takes 1 minute to mix up an extract of Lesser Simulacrum, and then a standard action to “cast” it. However, the spirit of the spell, as I read it, is that you pour magical energy through the casting of the spell into the ice sculpture to animate. There’s no cost associated with the sculpture material component, and so an arcane caster with eschew materials, a sorcerer, or an alchemist can ignore this cost. However, this goes against the “spirit” of the spell: you’re animating a “physical” illusion, infusing a sculpture of ice and ruby-powder blood with shadow magic to animate it. Here are the problem parts to me:

- Casting time of the spell is 1 hour, but Extracts always take a minute to mix, and a standard action to use.
- Ice scuplture material component without a cost, and alchemists can ignore valueless components.
- Balance. Simulacra can be easily broken (much like certain constructs). I rather like the idea of requiring a part of the creature I intend to simulate, similar to what the 3.5ed rules required.

And here’s what I propose:

- Casting time is a standard action, because that’s the power of extracts. However, the effect takes place over multiple rounds.
  1. Drink the extract, activates the spell. The alchemist immediately vomits out a tumor-like mass of flesh and ruby dust.
  2. The alchemist is free to act as they wish. The mass grows in size, taking an amount of time per HD to finish growing, either 1 round or 1 minute per HD.
  3. When this simulacrum is destroyed, it reverts to a mass of useless and disgusting flesh and viscera, which rots away relatively quickly.
- Ice sculpture component is replaced by a costless but still required piece of the creature to replicate. This component is used up as part of the extract, but common monsters’ pieces can be found easily in component shops and such. The ruby dust component remains as-is.

This solution draws inspiration from the Alchemical Simulacrum discovery. Whereas that discovery grows an actual duplicate creature, the extract grows a tumor infused with shadow magic, in a similar spirit to the original spell animating an ice-sculpture with shadow magic.

I’m also considering that perhaps for the Lesser Simulacrum version, while the simulacrum “lives”, the alchemist has a negative level. This helps to lessen the ease of abuse. Alternatively, the alchemist is sickened while the simulacrum “grows”. Or perhaps both; it can be an incredibly powerful spell.

Looking at extracts a bit more, there are some very obvious draw-backs to compensate for their power. An alchemist drinks an extract to use it, “casting” the spell. Spells without somatic components to other spellcasters still require the alchemist to drink the extract, and as such cannot take advantage of being paralyzed or otherwise restrained. Spells with less than a standard action to cast (for example, Burst of Speed), take a standard action to drink, because using an extract is a standard action. Here are some more examples of spells on the formula list with non-standard-action casting times:

- Sending: 10 Minutes
- Enlarge Person, Reduce Person, several others: 1 round
- Transmute Golem: 8 hours
- Half-Blood Extraction: 1 hour
- Dream: 1 minute
- Contact Other Plane: 10 minutes
- Restoration: 3 rounds

As per the class page:

    Although the alchemist doesn't actually cast spells, he does have a formulae list that determines what extracts he can create. An alchemist can utilize spell-trigger items if the spell appears on his formulae list, but not spell-completion items (unless he uses Use Magic Device to do so). An extract is “cast” by drinking it, as if imbibing a potion—the effects of an extract exactly duplicate the spell upon which its formula is based, save that the spell always affects only the drinking alchemist. The alchemist uses his level as the caster level to determine any effect based on caster level. Creating extracts consumes raw materials, but the cost of these materials is insignificant—comparable to the valueless material components of most spells. If a spell normally has a costly material component, that component is expended during the consumption of that particular extract. Extracts cannot be made from spells that have focus requirements (alchemist extracts that duplicate divine spells never have a divine focus requirement).

Some important notes:

- Not a spellcaster (“doesn’t actually cast spells”).
- Extracts are “cast” by drinking them.
- Extracts are not spells, they duplicate spell effects: “the effects of an extract exactly duplicate the spell upon which its formula is based”.
- Extract use is compared to drinking a potion: a standard action that provokes attacks of opportunity.
- Extracts always affect only the drinking alchemist.
- Alchemists don’t have a caster level, but often use their class level when a caster level is required: extracts, Brew Potion, some discoveries that replicate feats or spells dependant on caster levels, etc..
- Extracts ignore valuless material components of spells, but must include costly material components that are expended when the extract is consumed.
- Extracts never have divine focus requirements.

The potion comparison is apt, because a restriction of potions is the spell having a casting time of less than 1 minute. Regardless of what the spell’s casting time is, it is always a standard action to drink the potion. Example: Lesser Restoration has a 3-round casting time, but as a potion would take a standard action to drink.

A good way to think about this, I think, is to emphasize that extracts are not just juice-spells. Extracts replicate spell effects, they are not spells nor do alchemists cast them as spells. They use the spell exactly as is, except they take a standard action to drink, and they always affect only the drinking alchemist.