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The (mis-) adventures of the 7th Ancillary of the Altasian Army

# Life and Death of the Party

### Counts

Bill: 18
Ian: 1
James: 13
Mike: 15
Nathaniel: 8
Dan: 23

### Narration

Calder, Bari, and Argon go adventuring.

Erith joins the party.

Erith dies of Ghoul Fever and turns monstrous. Long live Helga!

Sheila G joins the party.

Helga has a piece of wood driven into her brain by Bariconis. Long live Al’ryan!

Al’ryan is killed by a fly-headed devil. Long live Alt-ryan!

Alt-ryan is incinerated by a fire-breathing daemon. Long live Galtooth!

Balognog joins the party.

Galtooth is hurled to his death by Kasabian. Long live Harvey! Balognog is blown up by Kasabian. Long live Uggachaka! Argon is blown up by Kasabian. Long live Raydon!

Raydon is dismembered by a brain collecting crab-thing. Long live Calcifer!

Sheila G is killed by Brutoslan’s phantasms. Long live Buttercup! Calcifer is killed by Brutoslan’s phantasms. Long live Krypton!

Krypton is blown up by Kasabian.

Sheila G is resurrected in the pool of Al’Jezeer. Buttercup returns to the plains, his erectile dysfunction uncured. Calcifer is resurrected in the pool of Al’Jezeer.

Uggachaka is smashed to pieces by a living statue. Long live Bodaga Jones!

Uggachaka is resurrected in the pool of Al’Jezeer. Bodaga Jones does some unmentionable things off camera.

Uggachaka’s arms are peeled off by Sheila G’s “restorative” magic and he dies. Bodaga Jones joins the party.

Harvey is driven insane by the dismembered pieces of a dead demigod that are subsuming his flesh. Long live Sung-Hu!

Sung-Hu is killed by an undead cyclops and her body is disintegrated by negative energy. Harvey returns from Fairyland. Sheila G is flash-frozen to death by Harvey at the behest of the Winter Court.

Sheila G is raised from the dead by the Bishop of Nemes.

Bodaga Jones gets bored and wanders off to become a villain. Sampson joins the party.

Sampson is cut to pieces by a gang of extra-dimensional thugs that are far weaker than he is.

Sampson is resurrected in the pool of Al’Jezeer.

Sampson is ripped apart by a fungus person from space. Long live Chumbawumba!

Harvey has his life energy totally consumed by an evil shadow with teeth.

Calder is struck dead by the necromancy of a worm that walks. Chumbawumba is devoured by a worm that walks. Long live Tea Baggins, the Chosen One.

Harvey is resurrected in the pool of Al’Jezeer.

Calder is resurrected by mysterious forces and forgets about it.

Calder is roasted to death by a giant hell hound. Long live Swish!

Swish is slain in single combat by a badass viking spirit.

Calder is raised from the dead by the Bishop of Nemes.

Calcifer has his skeletal structure shattered by the scream of a flying monstrosity and falls several hundred feet to the uncaring ground.

Calcifer becomes a daemon and is rescued from the afterlife by Prisoner and Harvey.

Calder is driven insane by a Shadow Plane parasite, long live Aladin!

Aladin has his head chopped off on the murder mystery boat.

Black Calder hands off the reins to Calder Black, so he can solve a mystery.

Calder Black forgets to keep his hair wet, unleashing his dark side. Long live Roach!

Roach is swallowed whole by a massive shapechanging sea-wolf.

Black Calder dries off, hoping Calder Black can accomplish some simple tasks without being accused of several murders.

Calder Black has his brain operated on by a mutant, three-eyed fish and wanders off to go find “Jim”.

Tea Baggins, the Chosen One is force-fed a deadly Ghoul Fever elixir by Harvey, and he becomes a reasonable monster that hungers for putrid flesh.

Gee Baggins, the Chosen One has his undead body boiled and diced in a tank before having his soul shunted into a living, not quite perfect, humanoid body.

Sheila G has her head pulled off by an upset crab-person, who was actually a pretty chill guy. Long live Dirk Ironcruncher!

Tea Baggins, the Chosen One is eviscerated by a cloud of flesh eating daemon-flies but quickly returns from the dead as Gee Baggins, the Chosen One.

Calcifer is filled with plague-ridden arrows and is once again killed by his nemesis, the ground. Calcifer morphs into a twisted, fire-breathing war daemon. Long live Bismuth!

Dirk Ironcruncher is stabbed to death by Tainted Calcifer. Long live Bones Jackson! Gee Baggins, the Chosen One is destroyed by Tainted Calcifer. Long live Sakuzi!

Bismuth is killed by a necrosed demon-spider bite. Long live J. Higgins!

Sakuzi is ripped apart by Tainted Calcifer. Long live Buttrom!

Higgins is killed by plague cultists. Long live Bubons!

Bones Jackson is stabbed in the head by an energy scythe.

Shiela G is resurrected in the pool of Al’Jezeer.

Sakuzi is resurrected by magic gone wrong in Faerieland.

Harvey is mangled to death by a soul eating wolf. Harvey is reincarnated by the Melancholy Lord as Hidebehind Harvey.

Sakuzi is riddled with arrows by the white riders of Babba Yaga, dying an honorable death. Canon nibbles on him, just a little.

Buttrom is put to sleep in his sleep by Hidebehind Harvey. Long live Gek!

Hidebehind Harvey has his soul ripped out of his new fairy body and returns to being Harvey.

In another dimension, Gulag joins the party. Bari comes to save the day!

Shiela G is killed by a giant green snake with acid blood in another dimension.

Gek is killed by a giant red snake with acid blood in another dimension.

Shiela G is raised from the dead by the Church of Abbadar in another dimension.

Gek is raised from the dead by Shiela G in another dimension.

Bubons dies a decrepit husk after asking too many questions.

Bari gets banished to his own dimension by a light-mote flinging fairy.

Bubons is reincarnated at the Weeping Stones in another dimension.

Bubons is devoured by Tindalos in another dimension.

Bubons is resurrected by a weird night of drinking at some angel’s bar in Elysium.

Gulag leaves the party to become a student of the Raven King.

The party wisely splits up.

Scoop, the Queen’s Huntsman joins the party. Babeo Baem joins the party. Tomcat joins the party.

Scoop, the Queen’s Huntsman is eaten alive by the court of the dead. Long live Lucius!

Babeo Baem has his soul devoured. Long live Diggens!

Lucius is defeated by a stationary rope and wanders off to become friends with the Unknown. Long live Basque!

Basque is gunned down by those good for nothing Clampton Brothers. Basque finds himself awake as a zombie lord, and continues adventuring.

Basque loses his will to dark powers and is smashed into goo by an unforgiving Shiela G.

The party returns to its home universe, rejoining Gek and Harvey. Tomcat goes in search of a mirror that leads to Elysium. Diggens returns to the paths to learn from his new friend, Lucius.

Calder Black is cut to pieces by a faceless devil. Long live Ba’as!

Calder Black is raised from the dead by Shiela G. Ba’as remains at the Haunted Castle, preparing for the end times.

Gek is ridden down by Sulnaj, herald of the calamitous end.

Gek is resurrected by the Bishop of Nemes.

Shiela G is stranded in the Pathways of the Raven King by that good for nothing Diggens. Long live Nailia.

Nailia goes missing in the Beast, and never returns. Long live Haukarl! Bubons has his mind melted by a blazing blue light within the Beast. Gek is cut to pieces as he desperately tries to escape the Beast.

Bubonns is returned to a new, endowed body in Bargelgorf’s lab. Gek is returned to a new, endowed body in Bargelgorf’s lab.

Calder Black is slain by phantasms hiding in purple light. Long live Bluhlub Bubluv! Haukarl is slain by phantasms hiding in purple light. Gek’s mind and body are devoured by the restless spirits of his companions. Long live Splooshrod! Gek borrows the Dark Priest’s body, just for a bit.

Deep in the Beast, Harvey is told he is useless and has toxins pumped into his liver until it fails. Long live Gene Eric!

Bluhlub Bubluv succumbs to internal bleeding as Tindalos is forced out of his tissues on the paths.

Bluhlub Bubluv is revived in his cloning lab and gets to work, naked. Long live Konrad!

Splooshrod is slain by phantasms hiding in purple light.

Calder Black is raised from the dead by Shiela G. Konrad returns to the Grand Tower of the Karjulian Brotherhood.

Gene Eric returns to the Grand Tower of the Karjulian Brotherhood. Harvey is returned to a new, anusless body in Bargelgorf’s lab

Gek is given a body of his very own in Bargelgorf’s lab.

Harvey tries to exist in the same space as solid rock, it does not go well. Harvey is returned to a new, pink body in Bargelgorf’s lab.

Calder Black learns to fear the Beast. Ba’as joins the party!

Harvey has his organs sucked out deep within the Beast. Harvey is revived in Bargelgor’f lab.

Ba’as is engulfed and incinerated by an awful flying blob. Calder Black rejoins the party, since they are never returning to the Beast (until they do).

Bubons is not invited to the Golden Labyrinth, he stays behind. Hiro joins the party! Gek decides he better sit in a chair for several weeks. Rufus joins the party! Harvey decides to go on a shopping vacation by himself, wisely leaving the party. Tomcat descends from Nirvana and joins the party.

Tomcat is consumed by a sojourner of Tindalos. Sergeant Manhattan Rambo Willie Dustus joins the party!

Hiro is kidnapped and impaled by Hannibal, Prince of the Golden Labyrinth. Gildee joins the party!

Sergeant Manhattan Rambo Willie Dustus is hacked to pieces by Hannibal, Price of the Golden Labyrinth. Sergeant Manhattan Rambo Willie Dustus is raised from the dead by Shiela G.

Sergeant Manhattan Rambo Willie Dustus is eaten by alien insects in another dimension. Gildee is sent spiraling to an impact related death by Shiela G. Rufus is consumed by Hannibal, He Who Waits Between.

Bubons joins the party! Gek joins the party! Gene Eric joins the party!

Gene Eric leaves for important work with Karji, Harvey joins the party!

Calder Black is ripped apart by a lion-headed outsider. Calder Black is raised from the dead by the Bishop of Nemes.

Gek is bitten to death by a lion-headed outsider. Gek is reborn in Barglegorf’s lab.

Calder Black is ripped apart by a lion-headed outsider. Calder Black is raised from the dead by the Bishop of Nemes.

The party wisely splits up when Harvey, Calder Black, and Sheila G take a jaunt to fairyland leaving Gek and Bubons to take a pleasant boat ride. Waldo joins the party! Quee Luhleafa joins the party!

</span>Calder Black is flash-frozen by the slimy effluent of a totally avoidable, monstrous ice wurm.

Waldo is flash-frozen by the slimy effluent of a totally avoidable, monstrous ice wurm. Quee Luhleafa runs off into the night.

Gek joins the party! Bubons joins the party!

Calder Black is reincarnated as a fey by a totally trustworthy eldest and decides to not join the party in fairyland. Will Yamson joins the party!

Will Yamson is ripped apart by a giant, dusty spider in the Boneyard. Kareem Kabal joins the party!

Gek is pecked to death by a swarm of psychopomp whippoorwills in the Boneyard, and they take his soul away to be judged. Sir Oliver Twistfuck joins the party!

Sir Oliver Twistfuck slowly bleeds out from his wounds on the Bridge of Spines until he finally dies.

Kareem Kabal is made sad by a swarm of psychopomp whippoorwill and sent back to Material Plane to die a useless and inglorious death.

Will Yamson is reincarnated through the arts of the Holly King.

Sir Oliver Twistfuck is reincarnated through the arts of the Holly King.</span>