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<span class="first">T</span>he
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<span class="first">I</span>nternet
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<span class="first">V</span>agabond
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<article>
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<h1 id="perception-and-thought">Perception And Thought</h1>
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<p>I consider myself a very philosophical person. That doesn’t mean I’m any
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good at philosophy, I just tend to think a lot about ethics, morality, and
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happiness. Recently I’ve been thinking more about my worldview, what I
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value as important, and how I achieve happiness in my daily life. I wanted
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to jot down what I feel is a brief examination of my basic tenants; the
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basic Philosophy of Bill.</p>
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<p>I derive a lot of my philosophy from my Christian up-bringing and
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Stoicism. I’m not a very religious person, though. I never really was. My
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belief of what God is falls strongly under the agnostic category: I’m not
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sure what God is, or if I believe in a God, but I do believe in a higher
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power of some sort. I feel it’s logical to always assume there is something
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more powerful than yourself, but I also feel it’s impossible to prove this.
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I like to define faith as simply irrational belief. I have faith in many
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things, both permanent and temporary. I like faith, actually, quite a bit.
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I admire those who have strong faith, so long as they maintain reason and
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are not fanatical. I also try to maintain a very open approach to religion.
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I believe everyone has the right to worship however they choose, so long as
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it does not involve anything overly immoral, such as killing. I have a hard
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time tolerating people who are overly zealous about their faith, or about
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denouncing someone else’s faith. Nothing is more disgusting than attacking
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someone for their beliefs. They are called beliefs for a reason; they are
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not fact, they are opinion. It’s ineffective to attack opinions, because
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they are ephemeral to begin with. Like trying to hit a ghost with a
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lamp-post: it just won’t do what you think it will.</p>
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<p>I love debate and discussion, but there is a clear difference between
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debate for truth and argument for winning. I try to keep in the first camp,
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but I’m not super-human and I have an ego so I often visit the later.
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However, I always learn when I make mistakes, and I cherish when I fail,
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because it only serves to better myself. I think that’s the most
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fundamental under-lying theme of my philosophy: always better myself;
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always learn something. That ego thing, though, that’s a tough monster to
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handle. I’ve found myself adopting views similar to Zen Buddism (I think)
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often when trying to quell my ego:</p>
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<ul>
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<li>All will return to nothingness.</li>
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<li>Ergo, what I do will be inconsequential.</li>
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<li>Ergo, I am inconsequential.</li>
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</ul>
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<p>I think most people hear this and grow disheartened or depressed, but I
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view it as very uplifting. There’s a certain freedom in knowning that, no
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matter how much I fail, in the end it won’t matter much. It’s sobering to
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remember that no matter how much I’ve achieved or won, in the end it won’t
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matter much. It’s important to remember that I am nothing but an improbable
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spec of matter floating on a rock in an unimaginably vast and empty space.
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Too many people get caught up on that “in the end” part, though, and they
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begin to question why they should act at all. Well, there’s a bit of time
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between now and “the end” and you need to fill the void with something. For
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me, that’s learning, and understanding, and appreciating.</p>
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<p>In my studies, I’ve discovered and adopted Stoicism as a philosophy. I
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won’t explain too much what Stoicism is about, since there are many sources
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online which do that. I apply Stoicism mostly in the mental aspects of the
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philosophy, and less in the faith/religious aspects. From Stoicism, I have
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reinforced my beliefs in the importance of understanding our environment. I
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remind myself every day of things I cannot control, and that I can only
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control my perception of things. I try to act according to logic and
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wisdom, and not according to feelings, which can hamper reason. For
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example, I try not to let anger control my actions if I get trolled by my
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friend Nick. I understand that anger, love, stress, and all other feelings
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are very much out of my control, but allowing them to control me is well
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within my control. In other words, I very much get angry, or grow lustful,
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or prideful, but I try not to let those feelings dictate my actions. I
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believe it was Seneca the Younger who said, “Men are not angered by things,
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but by their perceptions of them.” One of many mantra I keep in
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reserve.</p>
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<p>The most important thing in my life, though, is not control but
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happiness. I can seek to control my perceptions and emotions all I want,
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but if it does not lead to happiness, it is a fruitless endeavor. I find
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happiness most when I learn; when I understand a system. I’m an engineer at
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heart, so I view the world as a system of systems (of systems, of
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systems…) each of which is bare to understanding. I free myself from ego
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and oppression so that I can learn without fear of failure or the
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disapproval of my peers. I like to always remind myself that the only
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person who truly cares about me, is me. That’s not to say others don’t care
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about me, but they care about themselves first, and me afterwards. That’s
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how things are; it’s not wrong or depressing or hurtful it’s just the way
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the system works. I care for many people, but I’m always number one on the
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list.</p>
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<p>While all this is well and good, philosophy is an ever changing system;
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a CICD environment. I am constantly integrating new ideas and concepts into
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my understanding of the world, and sometimes purging old or unnecessary
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ones. I have my fair-share of quandries, perhaps more so than others;
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perhaps it’s an unfair-share. That’s what makes it worth it, though, to me.
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I seek to learn, and in doing so, find happiness and confusion. It’s a
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recursive system: the confusion leads to learning, which leads to happiness
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and confusion. And I love recursion.</p>
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<div class="author_info">
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Bill Niblock
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2015-05-04
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<br />
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[
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<a href="/topics/philosophy">philosophy</a>
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This site is a small slice of internet real-estate that I use for
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<p>
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My name is <span class="p-name">Bill Niblock</span>. <span
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class="p-note">I'm a computer scientist by education, a technologist
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by trade, a gamer by hobby, and a philosopher by accident. I
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live in <span class="p-locality">Buffalo</span>, <span class="p-region">
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New York</span>, <span class="p-country-name">USA</span>.<br />
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<br />
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My PGP Key is <span class="u-key" id="key">CCE7 3682 331B 5614 9FAB
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7383 7359 80B2 6381 C91E</span>.
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