217 lines
9.5 KiB
HTML
217 lines
9.5 KiB
HTML
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<title>The Internet Vagabond :: A Good Friend's Father</title>
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<div class="cor_page">
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<header>
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<a href="/">
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<div>
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<span class="first">T</span>he
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<span class="first">I</span>nternet
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<span class="first">V</span>agabond
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</a>
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<article>
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<h1>A Good Friend's Father</h1>
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<p> A good friend's father died. He was quite a strong figure in my
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childhood. He was compassionate, endearing, strong, and happy. He is
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succeeded by two of my best childhood friends, and his second wife. I will
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always remember him as smiling, or laughing, or even sometimes frustrated
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with his children.</p>
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<p> When I learned of his passing, I immediately thought of my position in
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life. My father is roughly the same age, and my mother slightly younger.
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Was this death too early? Is there such a thing? If I stick to my
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philosophical beliefs, then death is fated, regardless of where or when;
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never early, never late. When I told a friend of the passing, his remarks
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were expectedly typical: "That's fucked up. He died so early. He died so
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young." The trick with beliefs is they are always tested. I found myself
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caught up in grief and worry. Surprised at the passing, worried with the
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thought of my parents dying. I even grew anxious of the funeral and calling
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hours. Suddenly this anxiety was like a weed, finding it's way into the
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cracks in my beliefs and understanding, unsettling and disrupting my peace
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of mind. Instead of mourning the loss, I tangled myself into an emotional
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knot, and selfishly so.</p>
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<p> I sat, a few days after the news, watching the rain. I considered how
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the rain falls where it is due, regardless of what it falls on. The
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rain cares not, it simply is. I considered the millions of drops falling on
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the millions of people all around the globe. Their situations in life as
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unique as each drop; in structure similar, yet in action ever slightly
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divergent. In life, I cannot decide where or when I exist, I can only
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decide how to perceive my existance. Epictetus wrote, "man is disturbed not
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by things, but by the views he takes of them." My perceptions were skewed,
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my understanding flawed, and thus I was disturbed.</p>
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<p> One of my favorite analogies is Bruce Lee's metaphor about water. It is
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a reminder to be fluid and formless, adaptable and potent; "If nothing
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within you stays rigid, outward things will disclose themselves." There's
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no way for me to know what will be asked of me, as my life moves forward.
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I must be shapeless, so when obstacles appear I flow around or through
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them, without hesitation. I cannot affect when or how these obstacles
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appear, only how I perceive them. I had forgotten this. </p>
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<p> A good friend's father died, and he reminded me how to live.</p>
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<!-- ================================= -->
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<!-- ================================= -->
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<!-- Notes
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Rest in peace, Chaz. You were a good man, a good father, and a friend.
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-->
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<!-- ================================= -->
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<!-- ================================= -->
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<!-- cursor: 11 -->
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<div class="author_info">
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Bill Niblock
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<a href="https://unlicense.org/"
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2015-07-09
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<br />
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[
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<a href="/topics/philosophy">philosophy</a>
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<a href="/topics/life">life</a>
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]
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This site is a small slice of internet real-estate that I use for
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My name is <span class="p-name">Bill Niblock</span>. <span
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class="p-note">I'm a computer scientist by education, a technologist
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by trade, a gamer by hobby, and a philosopher by accident. I
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live in <span class="p-locality">Buffalo</span>, <span class="p-region">
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New York</span>, <span class="p-country-name">USA</span>.<br />
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My PGP Key is <span class="u-key" id="key">CCE7 3682 331B 5614 9FAB
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7383 7359 80B2 6381 C91E</span>.
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