61 lines
2.9 KiB
HTML
61 lines
2.9 KiB
HTML
---
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tabtitle: A Good Friend's Father
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title: A Good Friend's Father
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topics: [philosophy, life]
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pub: "2015-07-09"
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short_desc: "A good friend's father died. What can I learn from this?"
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---
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<h1>A Good Friend's Father</h1>
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<p> A good friend's father died. He was quite a strong figure in my
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childhood. He was compassionate, endearing, strong, and happy. He is
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succeeded by two of my best childhood friends, and his second wife. I will
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always remember him as smiling, or laughing, or even sometimes frustrated
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with his children.</p>
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<p> When I learned of his passing, I immediately thought of my position in
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life. My father is roughly the same age, and my mother slightly younger.
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Was this death too early? Is there such a thing? If I stick to my
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philosophical beliefs, then death is fated, regardless of where or when;
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never early, never late. When I told a friend of the passing, his remarks
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were expectedly typical: "That's fucked up. He died so early. He died so
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young." The trick with beliefs is they are always tested. I found myself
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caught up in grief and worry. Surprised at the passing, worried with the
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thought of my parents dying. I even grew anxious of the funeral and calling
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hours. Suddenly this anxiety was like a weed, finding it's way into the
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cracks in my beliefs and understanding, unsettling and disrupting my peace
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of mind. Instead of mourning the loss, I tangled myself into an emotional
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knot, and selfishly so.</p>
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<p> I sat, a few days after the news, watching the rain. I considered how
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the rain falls where it is due, regardless of what it falls on. The
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rain cares not, it simply is. I considered the millions of drops falling on
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the millions of people all around the globe. Their situations in life as
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unique as each drop; in structure similar, yet in action ever slightly
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divergent. In life, I cannot decide where or when I exist, I can only
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decide how to perceive my existance. Epictetus wrote, "man is disturbed not
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by things, but by the views he takes of them." My perceptions were skewed,
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my understanding flawed, and thus I was disturbed.</p>
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<p> One of my favorite analogies is Bruce Lee's metaphor about water. It is
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a reminder to be fluid and formless, adaptable and potent; "If nothing
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within you stays rigid, outward things will disclose themselves." There's
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no way for me to know what will be asked of me, as my life moves forward.
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I must be shapeless, so when obstacles appear I flow around or through
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them, without hesitation. I cannot affect when or how these obstacles
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appear, only how I perceive them. I had forgotten this. </p>
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<p> A good friend's father died, and he reminded me how to live.</p>
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<!-- Notes
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Rest in peace, Chaz. You were a good man, a good father, and a friend.
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-->
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