/* The un-Official Shakespeare Insult Generator Written by Bill "Vagabond Azulien" Niblock Source Material from reddit (and Shakespeare... duh...) http://www.theinternetvagabond.com */ /* The function is rather straight forward: upon being called, it generates a random number for each array, and inputs the corrosponding value. */ // Insult arrays var first = new Array("artless", "bawdy", "beslubbering", "bootless", "churlish", "cockered", "clouted", "craven", "currish", "dankish", "dissembling", "droning", "errant", "fawning", "fobbing", "froward", "frothy", "gleeking", "goatish", "gorbellied", "impertinent", "infectious", "jarring", "loggerheaded", "lumpish", "mammering", "mangled", "mewling", "paunchy", "pribbling", "puking", "puny", "qualling", "rank", "reeky", "roguish", "ruttish", "saucy", "spleeny", "spongy", "surly", "tottering", "unmuzzled", "vain", "venomed", "villainous", "warped", "wayward", "weedy", "yeasty"); var secnd = new Array("base-court", "bat-fowling", "beef-witted", "beetle-headed", "boil-brained", "clapper-clawed", "clay-brained", "common-kissing", "crook-pated", "dismal-dreaming", "dizzy-eyed", "doghearted", "dread-bolted", "earth-vexing", "elf-skinned", "fat-kidneyed", "fen-sucked", "flap-mouthed", "fly-bitten", "folly-fallen", "fool-born", "full-gorged", "guts-griping", "half-faced", "hasty-witted", "hedge-born", "hell-hated", "idle-headed", "ill-breeding", "ill-nurtured", "knotty-pated", "milk-livered", "motley-minded", "onion-eyed", "plume-plucked", "pottle-deep", "pox-marked", "reeling-ripe", "rough-hewn", "rude-growing", "rump-fed", "shard-borne", "sheep-biting", "spur-galled", "swag-bellied", "tardy-gaited", "tickle-brained", "toad-spotted", "unchin-snouted", "weather-bitten"); var third = new Array("apple-john", "baggage", "barnacle", "bladder", "boar-pig", "bugbear", "bum-bailey", "canker-blossom", "clack-dish", "clotpole", "coxcomb", "codpiece", "death-token", "dewberry", "flap-dragon", "flax-wench", "flirt-gill", "foot-licker", "fustilarian", "giglet", "gudgeon", "haggard", "harpy", "hedge-pig", "horn-beast", "hugger-mugger", "joithead", "lewdster", "lout", "maggot-pie", "malt-worm", "mammet", "measle", "minnow", "miscreant", "moldwarp", "mumble-news", "nut-hook", "pigeon-egg", "pignut", "puttock", "pumpion", "ratsbane", "scut", "skainsmate", "strumpet", "varlot", "vassal", "whey-face", "wagtail"); // Main Function function poeticBurn(){ makeTheShakespeareInsultWindow(); } function makeTheShakespeareInsultWindow(){ var mtsiw = document.createElement('div'); mtsiw.style.position = "fixed"; mtsiw.style.top = "10px"; mtsiw.style.left = "10px"; mtsiw.style.height = "100px"; mtsiw.style.width = "200px"; mtsiw.style.backgroundColor = "black"; mtsiw.style.color = "white"; mtsiw.innerHTML = "Thou " + first[Math.floor(Math.random()*first.length)] + " " + secnd[Math.floor(Math.random()*secnd.length)] + " " + third[Math.floor(Math.random()*third.length)] + "!"; document.body.appendChild(mtsiw); }